topsalive: “Forging Violence into Intimacy”

We may find ourselves struggling with power, sexuality and intimacy. We come to recognize the potential for violence and conflict within ourselves and how it impacts those around us, even our closest relationships. But what can we do if we don’t want to cause further harm to those we care about? To ourselves?

The topsalive program is a confidential, no-judgment, weekly work group session for people who are learning how to forge relationships with their partners that are based on equality, rooted in consent, and are free of verbal, emotional or physical violence, coercion or aggression. We work together, on ourselves, to notice these harmful behaviors and to practice new ones that serve us and our partners better. By rediscovering and connecting with our authentic selves and changing the way we relate to our partners, we can transform ourselves, create true intimacy and help create a healthy consent culture.

Ms. WillowKat (pronouns zie/zir) is a trained Alive Program facilitator and has facilitated the topsalive workgroup from its inception. Zie is an Ethical Sluts class instructor and has presented at numerous conferences and educational programs such as Lupercalia, Leather Quest, and Dark Odyssey on subjects including healthy communication, consent, power exchange, polyamory, and the sensual and healing power of the whip. Zie brings zir creative passion for healing to zir endeavors as an experienced Pro Dom, shamanic priestess, Master, kinky caregiver and death doula. Nicknamed “the Hurricane,” zie is known for zir dynamic style of teaching, performing, and holding ritual space. Zie is skilled at nurturing and comforting those in need, and believes deeply in fostering a sex-positive nonviolent consent culture based on relationships of true equality. Zie heads a growing leather family and holds membership in several others. Zir passions include painting, teaching, ritual, D/s, sex magic, and BDSM edge play.